One of the of the largest secrets we strive to keep is a sense of independence and dignity. The notion or emotion that you are significant in some distinct way, that you are cherished by a special person, that an individual is giving you special attention, these are some of the ego’s very delicate secrets. We are trying to hide our Heavenly Self and are playing all these diverse games, which seem to be very disconcerting. It is rather depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we endeavor to get scraps of special love, attention and acknowledgment to prop ourselves up.
We toil so hard at becoming “better people”, at acquiring greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more popular. The entire self-help sector is focused on enhancing the self so you can become a better you. That is another scheme we secretly partake on ourselves, thinking we have to keep turning our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very soothing when you start to grasp that you do not have to turn into any better than you currently are. You were made perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find serenity but through self-acceptance.
As I collaborated with A Course in Miracles, I could see that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I realized this was the ego’s dread of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being perceived as a puff of nothingness. That is the dread of intimacy. We talk about this dread in relationships, which is sometimes projected as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a dread of dropping our persona, our mask of individuality. It is the fear of getting swept away by a magnificent love, a love so strong that none of us can even envision something as glorious and powerful!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great realization. It always starts with feeling like you have done something incorrect, whether you’ve pleasured yourself, taken something, mistreated somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have judged as so ghastly that you don’t even want to meet it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of notice.
Underneath all those recollections and thoughts, is the belief that we are divided. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we think that it is true; We have deemed it as terrible and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really offer yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally encounter this hidden belief in separation!
Please, share any thoughts and observations with me below, I’d adore to hear about your experience!
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